Hope Does Not Disappoint: The Commonness of Barrenness

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Commonness of Barrenness

As I've mentioned previously, I have been reading the Bible everyday according to a chronological plan from Youversion.com. It had me read a little bit in Genesis, and then jump over to read all of Job, and now I'm back in Genesis where I left off. But something has really piqued my interest already -- barrenness is mentioned a lot in the Bible, and I have a feeling I'm just starting to scratch the surface.

I'd like to blog about each barren woman's story as I read through the Bible, and hopefully it will be an encouragement to all of us. Time and time again wombs that were once closed were suddenly opened by the Lord. So to start with, let's look at the very first example of infertility that the Bible shares with us...

Sarah
Perhaps the most commonly referred to example of barrenness/infertility is Sarah, Abraham's wife. We first learn of her condition in Genesis 11:30
Sarai was barren; she had no child.

What do we know about Sarah?

She was beautiful, even in her old age (80s and 90s) - so beautiful that Abraham feared for his life by venturing into a new city with her, that he told her to tell everyone they were brother and sister out of fear that a king would kill him just to take Sarah as his wife.
She was protected by God - When two different kings in two different situations took Sarah as their wife (since at two different times Abraham told Sarah to tell everyone they were brother and sister), God intervened on behalf of Sarah and restored her to Abraham.
She was loyal and obedient - Why else would a woman listen to her husband and agree to tell everyone they were brother and sister?
She was barren - Continuing the story in Genesis 16, we again learn that "Now Sarai, Abram’s wife had borne him no children"
She didn't always handle her barrenness in the best or right way - In the previous chapter, Genesis 15, God promises to Abraham that he will have a son of his own body. Perhaps just like women of the present day, it seems that in Genesis 16 Sarah tried to take matters into her own hands and "help" God out in keeping that promise. What did she do? She told Abraham to go have relations with her maidservant, Hagar. He did, and Hagar conceived a child and then started to despise Sarah (I wonder, was Hagar upset that she had to go through the "difficulties" of being pregnant?) So Sarah treated her harshly and Hagar fled.
Sometimes she questioned God - In Genesis 16:2, Sarah said to Abraham, "Now behold, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children." Then after God spoke His promise to Abraham that Sarah would bear a child, Sarah's response was full of doubt, "Shall I indeed bear a child, when I am so old?" Isn't it refreshing that you or I are not the first ones to struggle with infertility? To know that Sarah, the mother of nations, also had the tendency to question God?
God could and did open her womb - In Genesis 17:16 God says "I will bless her, and indeed I will give you a son by her. Then I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her." So not only did he give her a naturally born son, but that began a whole legacy of nations! How did Abraham and Sarah respond to this? (Remember that at the time God told Abraham this, Sarah was 90 years old.) He laughed. So did Sarah when she heard. I just LOVE God's response to Sarah's doubting in Genesis 18:14 - "Is anything too difficult for the LORD? At the appointed time I will return to you, at this time next year, and Sarah will have a son."
Sarah's womb was opened and she had a son named Isaac, just as God had promised she would.

How marvelous is it that we have such a powerful and loving God as our Heavenly Father? He is a God who can do anything - a God that nothing is too difficult for Him. Our God is a God who does not require your help to conceive life - He is perfectly powerful enough to conceive life no matter what food you eat, vitamins/medicines you take, what your temperatures say, what the OPK says, how much cervical fluid you have, whether you have sex on the "most fertile day", lubricant you use, position you do, how long you lay with your legs in the air afterwards (admit it, we've all done this at one time or another to allow gravity to help the little guys along) -- Our God is all powerful and sovereign!

In the future as I blog about other infertile women in the Bible, I'll label it "Commonness of Barrenness" so that you can easily find previous posts. (See the list of labels to the right.)

God bless!

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Our Story

So far our journey is not over, but the lessons learned will last a lifetime. Michael and I have been married since 2007. In early December 2010, we decided to begin trying to start a family. I'm a planner, and had high expectations that we would get pregnant right away, just in time to announce it to our families on Christmas morning. But to my surprise, we did not get pregnant.

After finding no medical explanation for our inability to conceive (unexplained infertility), we began eating a whole foods, plant-based diet and exercising regularly. This helped regulate my hormones greatly and improved many aspects of our overall health (lost 30 lbs and kept it off, yay!) This has been our lifestyle since late 2012, yet we still have not been able to conceive. Clearly there is a bigger reason for this.

In late 2013, we felt God moving us to adopt. This was remarkable considering that, in the past, we never once considered adopting a child. But over the years of struggling with infertility, God taught us that no child - whether it comes from our physical bodies or elsewhere - is truly ours, but will always belong to God. We wanted to be parents, and we decided there was no reason to wait.

We desire to have children through adoption AND pregnancy. However the Lord wishes to grow our family, that's what we want too. We are completely trusting God with these details. How and when He brings children into our family is completely up to Him.

In March 2014 we submitted our application to the agency we chose. We didn't know it at the time (but God did), but that was also the month that our daughter was conceived. After being officially approved and put on the waiting list in August 2014, we were told the average wait would be 15 months. But God had other plans. Only 3 months later we received THE call from our caseworker that a birth mother had chosen us to adopt her baby, and the baby girl was due in a month.

We were overjoyed at this news and felt instant love for the birth family. I mean, out of all the couples waiting to adopt, they picked US! It felt humbling and amazing and overwhelming with only a month to prepare. We got to meet both sides of the birth family and we get along very well. They invited us to be at the hospital for our daughter's birth and wanted us to hold her shortly after being born. They chose to let us share in so many precious moments that they didn't have to do. They are such welcoming people, and we love them all so much!

After our daughter was two days old, we brought her home and started life together as a family of three. Though there were many things about parenthood that went differently than planned, or were frustrating in some moments, it has truly been such an honor to be our daughter's parents. She brings so much joy into our hearts with her sweet smile, laugh, and unique personality. I can't imagine her not being part of our family. We continue to keep in touch with the birth family on a regular basis. After all, we're all family now!

Through this journey, I have experienced such growth in my faith. Our story is proof that God gives good gifts and He truly cares for the desires of our hearts. He may not give you every desire in the way you ask for it, but He is faithful "and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

I have learned that I need to surrender to the Lord and let Him lead this endeavor. So that is my goal: “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus” – Hebrews 12:1-2.

Prayer of My Heart

"Heavenly Father, it seems as if every month brings about disappointment because I pray for a child and nothing happens. I don’t understand why I have to suffer like this. But in your Word, You say that I am to rejoice in my sufferings, because it gives me perseverance for the journey ahead, and perseverance brings about better character in me, and character; hope. I praise you for your great love, which has been shed in my heart by your Holy Spirit, which gives me hope that does not disappoint, as I continue to believe in You. Thank you! In Jesus’ name, amen."

[From Dancing Upon Barren Land]