October Baby Movie

Here's a trailer for the movie, in case you've never heard of it:

Every Life is Beautiful.

That's the movie's tagline. We watched this movie last week and were moved to tears. For several reasons.

1. It's a reminder that no matter what, you have the power to forgive others for their wrongs. For their choices. But here's the key: you only have that power if you yourself hold the free gift of God's forgiveness through Jesus Christ in your heart. "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." - Ephesians 4:32

2. It's a reminder that God has a plan. And even when, from our narrow perspective, His plan includes pain, suffering, and death...there is inevitably beauty and glory to be found in that plan. When a life is lost due to miscarriage, abortion, murder, an accident, illness, suicide, or simply old age, it is a tragedy. It does not escape God's notice. It is within His sovereign plan. There can be joy found in those moments of sorrow. When a life is saved from those tragedies, it's for a purpose. Had a life been successfully aborted, then that life would never have interacted with all the people it eventually did. It's amazing how the chain of events are impacted. In our personal situation, we are beginning to see how God orchestrated every detail in our journey of pursuing to have children. Every moment of sadness, every setback, every disappointment...has led us to the place where we are today. God has used our painful journey to shape us, completely change our hearts about a variety of things, and open our minds to the reality of our health choices. Enough to change our diet and lifestyle forever. Which, in case you didn't know this about us, has now changed how we plan to raise, nurture, and nourish our future children. If we have anything to say about it, our children will not eat meat or dairy. When they are adults, they can make their own choices, but while in our house, they will be given no other choice than to follow our dietary standards because we believe it's what best for them. We can only speculate if God has spared us or our future children of some health-related condition that would have otherwise been developed. He is so good!

3. It's a beautiful story about adoption. Without spoiling too much of the movie, I'll simply say that it's tearjerking to hear stories of fallen, sinful human beings displaying the kind of unconditional love that God showed to us through Jesus. God adopted us horrible creatures as His children. We don't deserve it. We should not be desirable. But God loves us and adopted us anyway. When there is a child who is adopted in the world, it's beautiful. When there's a disabled or impaired child who is adopted, it's so beautiful. God loves us all. We should strive to return that love to all the world.


I highly recommend that you see the movie!

Had it not been...

First of all, Happy Valentine's Day!!

From a recent Sarah's Laughter devotional, there was an idea that has inspired me and so I thought it would be a good idea to share with you all as well.

Whether you are facing infertility or a different struggle in life all together, your attitude about your present situation can either grow your character closer to God or harm your walk with Him. The idea from that devotional was about applying a bunch of "If Only's" to your life.

When you view your present situation through that lens, "If only...", you are setting yourself up to be discontent. The very essence of that statement, "If only...", means that you are wishing for something other than your present, other than what you have now.

The devotional encourages you to switch your attitude from "If only..." to "Had it not been...". The former comes from a heart of discontentment, where the latter comes from a heart of gratitude. It focuses on the growth that has taken place as a result of the present circumstances.

So I would encourage you to switch your line of thinking as well. Ask yourself how God has moved in your life through your present struggles. Ask yourself what good things have happened as a result of your struggle. Remember these truths:

Genesis 50:20
As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.

Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

So here's my list:

• Had it not been for infertility...I would not be as close to my husband as I am today.
• Had it not been for infertility...I would not rely on God for comfort and strength like I do now.
• Had it not been for infertility...I would have been an incredibly selfish, prideful, ungrateful, and complaining mother.
• Had it not been for infertility...we would never have been open to changing our diet, and I would never know the great feeling I would have been missing out on.
• Had it not been for infertility...I would have only a seedling of faith.
• Had it not been for infertility...we likely would not have ended up in our current house and neighborhood.
• Had it not been for infertility...I wouldn't have achieved some success at work that has taken place during the time we were trying to conceive.
• Had it not been for infertility...I would not truly understand how great of a blessing a little child really is.
• Had it not been for infertility...I would not have met and become close friends with some fellow ladies struggling with infertility. Those friendships are so precious to me!

Sorry for the commerical break

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted anything. I've been compiling responses to the upcoming series I want to post about, which will hopefully be ready in the next month or so.

In the meantime, I'll share a couple updates...

• We got our blood work back that showed the pre- and post-diet levels. We were astonished at how much Michael's cholesterol dropped! If you want to read about our other before/after results, we blogged about it here.
• Because the information about diet and nutrition is so vast, and because so many people have asked about it, we decided to create an entirely separate blog specifically about our journey to health. If you're interested in following that blog too, the link is: http://tofuandmanna.blogspot.com/
• I realized about a month ago how much these health improvements have helped my outlook on our fertility and my life in general. It makes sense, right? That the physical, mental, and spiritual are all intertwined. Looking back to my state of mind over the summer, I see how much I was struggling with depression. I wasn't actively aware of it at the time, but boy was it deep. But since we've changed our diet and exercise habits, my outlook on life is dramatically improved. I no longer feel weighed down by thoughts of hopelessness. I'm so thankful for God leading us towards this decision!
• I ran a mile without taking a break to walk for the first time in my whole life! For you regular runners out there, I realize this is no big deal, but for me, it's a really big deal. I used to hate running. H.A.T.E. I.T.! I would attempt to run and quickly feel so winded that I would have to stop to walk. But a couple weeks ago, it was a beautiful Friday afternoon when we got home from work, and we decided to go for a jog. I didn't quite make it to a consecutive 1-mile distance without walking, but we ended up going a total distance of 3.5 miles, where most of it was running! Then we went a few days later, and I beat my previous record - we ran for 1-mile, walked briefly, then ran another mile! This former run-hater was so proud of herself. Now, don't expect me to be running any marathons any time soon, but I was happy to get rid of my hatred for it. :)
• Dr. H. is super sweet. She emailed me to check up on me because she hasn't heard from me in a while. I just love how caring she is and how she strives to invest in her patient's lives.

That's pretty much it. Thank you all for your continued prayers. We really appreciate it!

Health Updates

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while, but I have been swamped with work and that's usually when I take time to blog. (Yep, that's right, during work...how's that for productivity?!)

I'm still planning to write a 5-part blog series, but the time frame is going to be a bit longer than I originally planned. Again, way too busy to work on it, and I'm also giving some special contributors enough time for them to send me some thoughts. I'm sorry to keep dangling this carrot, but I promise I will eventually post it!

Other updates...

As I mentioned in my previous post, we have begun a new diet. Now, when I say diet, I do not mean a temporary way of eating with the purpose of losing weight. I mean a way of eating, a lifestyle. What originally started off being, "Let's try this for one month and see how it goes" mindset, has transitioned into a fully committed decision to stick with this new lifestyle for, well, life!

I also want to clarify the details of the diet, because I actually mis-spoke a little bit in my previous entry. Our new eating plan is a whole foods, plant-based diet. The closest description of how we are now eating is vegan, but it's not exactly like that because with our diet, we can still eat meat, just in much smaller quantity than your average American. The main dietary elimination is all dairy, because it has been linked to causing heart disease, cancer, and several other serious conditions. In my case, it has been causing me to have too high of estrogen levels. I'll explain more about this in a little bit. Our diet also recommends eating no more than 2-3 servings of meat per week (as opposed to per day, America). The diet also suggests reducing significantly the amount of fat in your diet, as well as processed foods. So that means avoid oils, high-fat foods (nuts, avocado), and enriched processed foods (most cereals, breads, pastas...and a whole lot more!)

We became members of The Wellness Forum, lead by Dr. Pam Popper. Pam was featured in the Forks Over Knives documentary that I mentioned in the previous post. She has become a wonderful leader in improving the health of her clients, by practicing what she preaches. She's been eating this diet for close to 20 years. And when you see her pictures on the website, note that she's in her upper 50's...and looks, in my opinion, in her 30's. And she doesn't wear makeup. Yes, seriously.

When you become a member of The Wellness Forum, they send you a video series and course booklet for their Wellness 101 class. (If we lived in Columbus, Ohio, we could have attended in person, but obviously that would be a little out of our way.)

The video series and booklet are so helpful in teaching you the basics of the recommended lifestyle, including a new food pyramid, how to read nutrition labels, and much more. The recommended food pyramid has the following hierarchy (#1 being most important):

1. 64-ounces filtered water
2. legumes, whole grains, potatoes, corn
3. vegetables, sprouts
4. fruit
5. breads, cereals, minimally processed grains
6. higher-fat plant foods, nuts, seeds, olives, avocados, nut butters
7. organic animal foods 2-3 times per week (optional)
8. occasional treats

Her recommendations for how to read food labels is so informative and helpful when shopping at the store. The key is to read the ingredients list, as opposed to focusing on the nutrition table. The greatest quantity ingredients are listed first, ending with the least quantity. She explains that food manufacturers have gotten clever about this. Take most cereal for example, even "healthier ones" like Honey Bunches of Oats. Manufacturers have learned that because they have to list the greatest quantity ingredients first, it wouldn't look very healthy to consumers to see sugar as the first or second ingredient. So they got crafty and started using multiple forms of sugar, technically different ingredients, so that those multiple forms could appear lower in the ingredients list. Another rule of thumb is if you can't pronounce it, or don't know what it is, then it's probably not good for you. Red 40 and yellow 5...what kind of tree grows that!? :)

Oh and the phrases "All natural", "100% natural", "Great source of [insert whatever]!" etc. mean absolutely nothing. There's no organization that goes around inspecting products containing that claim. But you can trust the USDA Organic seal.

She also makes the point that you may find yourself liking one particular brand of products, and 4 out of 5 products they make will be okay, but the 5th one might contain something bad. So she stresses the importance of always reading the label, even if it's a "trusted" brand.

In one of her videos, she explains about vitamins and supplements. If you recall, I was swallowing about 8 pills a day, for various nutrients. And I hate swallowing pills. But that's how much I cared about being healthy, in hopes of conceiving a child. But Pam explains that vitamins and supplements are all processed. Even though they, correctly, claim that the vitamins and nutrients come from food, it's not the same as getting the nutrients from food. She explains that our bodies are adept at extracting exactly the nutrients it needs on any given day, and those needs change from day to day. So force feeding your body the processed vitamins and supplements, forces your body to deal with the nutrients you've given it...and you're giving your body nutrients in a form that's not easily broken down by your body. And if on a particular day you have no need for extra vitamin A, then you're body just passes that nutrient quickly to waste. The best way to absorb nutrients is from actually eating food...not swallowing pills. Specifically from eating a well balanced, varied, plant-based diet. Because whatever your body needs on a particular day, your body will seek out those nutrients from the food you eat. Sure, there may be a legitimate need to temporarily supplement your body with extra nutrients, for a specific reason, but no one needs those supplements every day of their life.

Whoo! You mean I can stop taking all my vitamins? Whoo!

As we were watching that video section, she said something that made me realize it's what I had been doing. She said that she, before making changes in her life, was taking various vitamins and supplements because it was just sort of the last thing that someone had recommended to her. Like she didn't really know why she was taking those pills, but they sounded like an okay thing at the time. That described me pretty well too.

I then made the decision that I wanted to schedule a phone consultation with Pam, to specifically address my health issues (including infertility). I decided to stop taking Clomid and using progesterone cream, and to just take a break from it all. No LH surge strips. No stress.

I had my phone consultation with Pam on December 6th. In preparation for the call, I had to keep a food journal for at least 5 days. I must admit, I was a little nervous going into the call, because Pam has been doing this for so long. I was fearful that she'd look at what I've been eating, and even though I think it's on par with her recommendations, she might see things like "too many fruit smoothies" or "eat more {whatever}".

But from the very start of the call to the very end, I (and Michael too) felt so much peace. It has never been more clear to me that God was leading me to this change in our lifestyle. I mean, giving up dairy and restricting meat, oils, fats, etc. was not easy. It still is not easy. It was not something I ever expected Michael to suggest and strongly and boldly take the lead on. He is so passionate about sticking with this, and now trying to help our family and friends become healthier if they desire. But it's worth it. I can see now, looking back, that God was really preparing our hearts to make these seemingly drastic changes in our daily lives.

This phone call was no exception. I don't know if Pam is a believer, but I feel like God totally used her that day to speak volumes of hope and peace straight to my heart. I'm so thankful for that, Lord!

After asking me some questions about my female history (consists of 7-day long periods, with heavy bleeding, large clots, and painful cramps, and when I was early in adolescence, periods were accompanied with migraines), and my present situation (progesterone cream helped relieve the painful cramps, and somewhat with the heavy bleeding), she explained that my symptoms are consistent with too high estrogen levels. Explaining that's why the progesterone seemed to help. But artificially using hormones like the cream is only treating the symptom, not the root cause. She explained that eating dairy, which is very high in estrogen, no matter what they say, is likely the culprit. And she said she was so thrilled to be talking to me now, at 28 years old about infertility, as opposed to much older and diagnosed with a condition that results from too much estrogen (breast cancer, to name one).

She said we are well on our way to improving our health, and I'm on my way to having my hormone levels balance out to where they should be. She said it could take a few months for my hormones to balance, so to try not to worry about trying to conceive for about 5 or 6 months. She also said I should notice my menstrual periods get shorter, and my cycles may increase in length slightly.

It was just so comforting talking to her, because she sounded so confident that we're well on our way to conceiving by improving our health and eliminating the dairy. She said things like, "You'll have to send me a picture of your baby, because that's the deal I make with everyone up front" and "you'll have a very enjoyable pregnancy" and "Just focus on your health for a few months and then I'm confident nature will take its course".

She also recommends that I take probiotics for two years, due to my history of IBS-like symptoms and frequent UTI's. Apparently, 50% of your immune function is in your gut, so if your body's beneficial bacteria reserves are in danger, or depleted, your immune system is compromised, making you more prone to getting recurrent infections.

I am just so thankful that God created people like Pam who are so passionate about helping people be healthy. In my case, I feel like God spoke through her and reassured me that we're on the right path. I hope and pray that God continues to improve our health, and that He might bless our efforts to honor the temples He gave us by allowing us to conceive. Your continued prayers are greatly appreciated!

About Us

Welcome! This blog is a means to help me as I traverse the path of unexplained infertility (and now adoption), but unlike some blogs out there, I am dedicated to keeping God in the center of this journey. If I did not have my faith in Jesus Christ, I know that I would be a bitter, angry, and depressed woman and wife. So if you don't want to hear about how God has moved in my life through this trial, how much I depend on His love, strength, and power, then please move on to a different blog that is more suited for you.

I firmly believe that with God, nothing is impossible, and as a result that is where my hope is grounded. It's a hope that I pray is never quenched or weakened. It's a hope that gets me through the low points. It's a hope that does not disappoint in the end because I know that God is causing all things to work out for the good of His glory and will. Thank you for sharing in this journey with me. And if you are reading this and are struggling to grow your family as well, I would love to have a chance to pray for you and help one another through this journey.

Here is the background of our story: Michael and I have been married since May 2007. On December 4, 2010, we decided to begin trying to start a family. I'm a planner, and had high expectations that we would get pregnant right away, just in time to announce it to our families on Christmas morning. But to my surprise, we did not get pregnant.

At first I did not track much about my cycle, but after 3-4 months of no success, I jumped into Control Mode and learned all about how to track and chart your fertility cycles (using the Fertility Awareness Method, or FAM for short). At the 8-month mark, we had routine blood work and other testing done. Michael's semen analysis was "good" and all my blood work was "normal," except that I learned that I have low progesterone levels (despite a normal luteal phase length).

It was at this point, that I finally learned to surrender to the Lord and let Him lead this endeavor. I realized how much I had been trying to control. Everything from what food I was eating, lubricant we were using, position we were...doing, the timing of sex, etc. As if I thought I had the power to create life! I confessed my controlling heart, and made a personal commitment to give this desire over the Lord and to trust His timing, not mine.

My OB/GYN at the time took my low progesterone level to mean that I was not ovulating and wanted to prescribe me Clomid. I tried to explain that I didn't believe that was the case because I tracked my temperature and cervical fluid (sometimes I refer to this as cervical "stuff" since the hubby doesn't like the word fluid/mucus, lol). I also told her I didn't feel comfortable using an ovulatory drug right off the bat, and would prefer to first try supplementing the low progesterone level, then go from there. My requests were not well received.

After prayer, we made the decision to not see her again and take a month off to wait until September 1st when my insurance would switch back to my previous provider. We felt led to go see our previous family doctor, who attends our church: Dr. S. Being the planner I am, I made a 7:40AM appointment on the 1st - no waiting around people!

Michael was able to attend with me and Dr. S. even prayed over us at the end. He also prescribed me a topical progesterone cream to help supplement my low levels.

As December 2011 was approaching, I knew it was time to schedule my annual OB/GYN appointment. Not wanting to take control of this, I did a quick search of all the OB/GYN's in my insurance provider's network and scheduled an appointment with a doctor. But I kept hearing conflicting opinions from friends about who I should see, with one friend telling me that Dr. S. recommends a particular OB/GYN doctor, Dr. H. I realized as I was praying one night that it was silly for me to worry and fret about what doctor to see, and instead prayed for a clear sign if I should switch my appointment to see Dr. H. instead. The sign I prayed for was to see or hear the name Amy the next day (Dr. H.'s first name is Amy).

Lo and behold, God has a lovely sense of humor. As Michael and I were driving to church the next morning, we were behind a car for several miles that had a "Vote for Amy" bumper sticker. The funny thing was that I did not remember my prayer in that moment - it wasn't until I was talking to a friend after church that it hit me, and I just felt so much awe and wonder that God had so faithfully and specifically answered that prayer. (And my friend wondered why I suddenly had zoned out.) So the next day, I called and switched my appointment to Dr. H.

My appointment with Dr. H. was also wonderful. It turns out that she also goes to our church (perhaps a reason why Dr. S. recommends her), but more than that she was so kind and encouraging. She looked at all my records and told me she's confident that I'm ovulating regularly, but wanted to take a peek via ultrasound to make sure everything else is looking good. I never thought I would get an ultrasound unless I was pregnant, but I was so thankful for her attentiveness and wanting to check things out (without charging for the ultrasound). She confirmed that my uterus and lining look great (no polyps or fibroids). She also confirmed that I do not have PCOS, and that "it looks like you ovulated on the left side this month". I can't tell you how excited that made me since I had felt twinges of pain on the left side that month. It was like confirmation that "Yes, your body does work properly." She encouraged me to continue trying the old fashioned way, but that if I desired to, there are next-step options. She also wanted me to come back for another ultrasound just before I ovulated the next cycle to help us plan the timing better. My appointment for this was on the 29th of that month. She again confirmed that everything looks great, and that I'm ovulating.

Soon after this appointment, I realized that tracking my temperature everyday was only causing me to stress about the finest details, so I made the decision to no longer track it. How refreshing and relaxing it has been since I made that decision! I continued to use the progesterone cream until December 2012 (I'll fill in some details in between next).

On September 19, 2012, I had another appointment with Dr. H. to discuss my next-step options. She basically said we have two routes to take: continue down the diagnostic path or begin infertility treatments. She is a really nice doctor, because instead of telling you what to do, she gives you the option (all doctors are supposed to give you the option, but many come across as being pushy). We took some time to discuss and pray about this decision, and we decided for me to have an HSG test done to check if my fallopian tubes were open or blocked. Assuming they were open, we would then begin using Clomid the following cycle.

My HSG test was on October 4, 2012 and thankfully the results were good - both tubes open and looked great. The test itself was akin to being abducted by aliens (or so I would imagine), but I made it through it, and am thankful for the good news.

We used Clomid for one cycle in November, but decided to discontinue using it. Why? Read on...

In September, we watched a documentary called Forks Over Knives. It recommends that everyone eat a whole foods, plant-based diet in order to achieve optimal health, prevent many common health conditions, and even reverse certain conditions already plaguing your body. As researchers by day, we greatly appreciated the mountain of scientific evidence presented in the documentary that supports their recommendations. At the end of the movie, we turned to one another and both said, "Let's try this!"

Then we watched a special feature on the DVD, consisting of some deleted scenes when the film crew was interviewing Dr. Pam Popper of the Wellness Forum. In her interview, she spoke about how eating an animal-based diet can negatively affect so many aspects of your body, including hormones, and how she has had hundreds of clients come to her with unexplained infertility or other infertility issues and has helped each of them structure their diet so that they were able to conceive a child. We turned to one another again, and realized that we now had even more reason to try this new diet.

Now, when I say "diet," I do not mean a temporary eating plan to achieve a fitness or weight loss goal. I mean our everyday, rest of our lives kind of diet. Our daily diet. Our new way of nourishing our bodies.

We began this diet on October 28, 2012. We also became members of Dr. Popper's Wellness Forum, which comes with a wonderfully informative Wellness 101 course packet and DVD. It's like drinking from a fire hose at first, but it is so clear, convicting, and compelling. Our new diet is discussed in further detail here.

For us, it's like James 4:17 - now that we have learned the right way to treat and nourish our bodies, we cannot simply turn our backs on this information, because it would be as if we were intentionally not honoring the temples God has given us, which is sinful. Looking back, it is so clear to us that God was taking steps, leading us and preparing us to the point of watching this movie and being open to the idea of radically changing the way we eat and live. Our former selves would never have been ready for this. Had we never struggled with infertility, we never would have had an interest in making such drastic changes. This diet is certainly not the path of least resistance, because in our culture, it can be challenging to choose healthy foods when so many unhealthy foods are always presented. This diet takes planning, commitment, and self-motivation to stick with it. But for us, it is worth it completely because we both feel and look so much healthier than when we began.

Continuing with our lifestyle changes, we had a phone consultation with Dr. Popper on December 6, 2012 -- just over two years after we first decided to start a family. This consultation was such a blessing, and I have never felt so much peace from the Lord. It was so clear to me that we are on the right path, and this is what God wants us to do right now. Focus on improving our health and waiting patiently for His timing.

During the consultation, Dr. Popper asked me a few background questions about my female history, and based on my answers (painful menstrual cramps, heavy bleeding, migraines, etc.), she said all my symptoms are indicative of having too high estrogen levels, which happens with an animal-based diet (dairy). This would explain why my progesterone levels were low, and why using the topical cream would provide some relief from my symptoms. She said that having begun this new diet, I am well on my way to balancing out my hormones naturally. (Using topical progesterone cream, or Clomid, was treating the symptom, not the root cause.) She said it could take years for my hormones to completely level out, so she recommended not worrying about actively trying to conceive for a while and just focus on our health. She said I should first notice that my menstrual cramps diminish significantly, and eventually I should notice my periods getting lighter and shorter and my cycle lengths getting a bit longer.

The first period I had after stopping all hormone supplementation was one that was free of PMS, menstrual cramps, and headaches. It was so encouraging to see the things she said should happen actually happen!

So at this time, I'm hoping that I will continually be more relaxed about everything, and continue to improve my overall health through diet and exercise. And of course I hope that if the Lord wills, hopefully one day I'll wake up and be pregnant.

In the fall of 2013, the Lord moved in our hearts to begin the journey of adoption. We realized that a biological child is no better/worse than a child we receive through adoption - they would each be our child (or on loan from heaven). Once we felt that conviction, we started the process. We're currently waiting to receive the baby that God will choose to be our own. We pray for his/her birth parents because we love them and know that their incredible sacrifice will one day be one of the greatest gifts we will ever receive.

Before I close this first blog post, I just want to also discuss how I've seen the Lord move in our lives. There have been several things that I consider blessings as a result of infertility:

• First and foremost, my relationship with the Lord has grown tremendously as I've learned how to completely depend on Him. He is my rock and strength, and I would be lost without Him. My prayer life has also grown exponentially.
• Our marriage has grown stronger. When we first started trying, Michael wasn't too thrilled about having kids. He was sort of giving in to my desire, and was more or less indifferent. As it didn't happen right away and I began to struggle with the pain of it, he didn't understand at first and wasn't as sensitive or supportive as I needed. It probably didn't help that I was still in Control Mode and demanding sex everyday during my fertile window without regard for his feelings. Ladies, don't put so much pressure on your men - it's not easy for them to feel like they're being used for their...seed. But as I learned to put God back in the center, Michael changed dramatically. He strongly desires to be a father soon, and shares my pain with me. He is so sensitive and supportive. I am SO thankful to have him as my partner through this. God is my rock and strength, but Michael is the physical presence that I get to hug and cry with whenever I need it. I love him so much more every day as we go through this together. I'm so glad we didn't get pregnant right away because we would not be as close as we are today.
• I'm so thankful for all of our friends who continue to pray for us and encourage us. I'm also thankful for the friends we know who have struggled or are currently struggling with infertility because we have learned much from them. As painful of a trial it is, that I wouldn't wish on anyone, it's nice to realize you're not alone. So far from alone!
• We're thankful for our family who also has been loving and supportive through this. We waited a while to tell them because we were still hoping we'd get pregnant soon, but we decided it might be best to tell them so they know where we're at emotionally.
• If we had gotten pregnant right away, we would not have had the opportunity to lead our Sunday School class for the newlywed and young married couples at our church. We were asked to lead a few months before we began trying, but at that time we knew it wouldn't be too much longer before we started trying for a family, so we declined. But as months and months passed without getting pregnant, a second opportunity to lead came up, and after prayerfully considering it, we accepted since we felt led to not let this time of "waiting" be wasted. We felt led to dedicate this time to growing our marriage and ministry together and enjoy the time of "just us" before children. We led this ministry for another year, before deciding to move on to a different ministry: helping others improve their overall health through diet and exercise. We are still in the early stages of this, so I don't have much else to add here yet.
• I'm also thankful that we didn't get pregnant right away because I would have never met my present OB/GYN, Dr. H. Now hopefully, if I do get pregnant, I would love for her to deliver our children.
• I'm thankful that I wasn't pregnant while we went through the adventure of building our first home. Some people say building a home together is a great way to ruin a marriage, but that was not our experience. Stressful at times? Certainly. But we greatly enjoyed designing the plans, picking the fine details, and watching it form before our eyes. We also dedicated this house to God by writing scripture on the framed walls (before they put up drywall). So now it's reassuring to know that in our bathroom (where I take my pregnancy tests and experience monthly disappointments), I have lyrics from John Waller's "While I'm Waiting" song, and James 1 encouraging me to consider it all joy when I encounter various trials.
• We have learned how sensitive of an issue this is. We used to haphazardly ask people, "So...when are you planning to have kids??" Having now been on the receiving end of that question, I realize just how personal that question is. It really makes you think twice before prying into others' lives.
• We've also learned how to be thankful and grateful for what we DO have instead of focusing on what we don't have. There is always something to be thankful for. You just have to CHOOSE to dwell on that. (Philippians 4:8)
• Furthermore, we have learned to be thankful for every trial and period of suffering...even while still in the midst of it. God's light seems the brightest when you're surrounded by darkness. It's been a growing experience to seek a joyful heart even when we're hurting.
• I'm in awe at how the Lord is using my painful trial to further His kingdom. God has led me to write many of the posts on this blog, and it seems to find its way into other's hands who are struggling with infertility. I pray that anyone who reads this blog will feel encouraged and full of hope.
• We are so thankful for infertility opening our hearts and minds to trying a whole foods, plant based diet. It has dramatically improved our health and we now plan to raise our family with this way of eating.
• We are also amazed at how God used our infertility to completely open our hearts to the idea of adoption. Being perfectly honest, we never once considered adopting a child. We were totally the "Oh, that's so nice [for you]!" type of people. That just goes to show you how powerful God is and how His will cannot be stopped. We now hope and pray that we can grow our family through pregnancy someday AND adoption - and we're currently pursuing adoption first! We are SO excited to become parents, and hopefully soon!

Thank you for stopping by my blog, and I pray that the Lord would bless you in your family planning endeavors!

Romans 5:3-5
And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.