Thursday, March 3, 2011

Give Me a "P"...P!

Three friends have announced they are pregnant since we've started trying (which was 3 months ago). And a couple friends I've asked how long they tried and they casually say "a month". It's a little irritating. A lot irritating. I know it's not normal to have luck on the first try, so I really should know better than to feel like there's something wrong with me. After all, their super fast success is much more rare according to statistics I've read. But still, part of me can't help but feel like I'm trying out for a cheerleading squad (had to pick a sport to go with my blog post title) and really, really, really want to make the team, but just can't. All while my friends around me barely practice for their tryout and then bam, they're on the team. My hubby reminds me that it's not a competition. He's completely right, and looking at it like a competition will only put me in a stressed out and negative mindset. Easier said than done though. That's one reason I started this blog was so I could vent about my feelings to get them out of my mind (hopefully). And of course, I really am happy for them and their blessed news. But at the same time, it just reminds me what I want and don't have. Lord, please help me reject these negative thoughts and not dwell on them. Help me to focus on You and keep faith and patience that someday (hopefully soon) it will be my time.

Cycle update: It's day 15 for me and we've Baby Danced every other day since day 7. My cervical stuff is somewhat confusing me this month, but that's how it's been for me every month so far. That's why we instituted the plan of having sex every other day during the mid-range of my cycle so that hopefully we'll catch the timing right and successfully conceive. I've been reading three different books and their sections on ways to tell if you're ovulating. They are all helpful, but then I find my mind playing tricks on me. (I think I feel a pain on my left my right side...I think my cervical stuff is ramping up toward day...why is it dry day...why is it ramping up again...) c.o.n.f.u.s.i.n.g.

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