Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Oh the Uncertainty

The lovely two week wait is nearing an end, which is both good and bad (or has been so far). It's bad because so far every month we've tried, I'm greeted with Aunt Flow, which is a big red slap in the face that "Nope, didn't happen!"

It's good because it's like a fresh start where I can at least know for sure yes or no. I can take a deep breath and start looking back over my notes from the past cycle and see if maybe we could have done anything differently. It's a reminder to lean on God and have faith that this too shall pass and one day I will hold my child in my arms and raise him/her to love the Lord. It is also a good thing because all of the guessing games come to a temporary end. No more questioning every little thing I think I feel going on in my body (was that a cramp? a twinge? are my boobs actually sore?)

But at this moment, I am still uncertain. I don't see any clear symptoms of being pregnant or not. I just have
hope. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1
An update on my cycle:
I'm on day 28. Assuming my non-BBT thermometer is decently accurate, my temperature has not begun to drop yet. I think I ovulated on day 19, so it's good news that my period hasn't shown up yet because that would be too short of a luteal phase. Hopefully if I'm not pregnant, it won't show up until day 32 like a normal luteal phase should be (14 days).

Unlike previous cycles, I'm not worrying about pregnancy tests. I ran out last month and have not purchased more yet. I decided to wait at least until day 31 (Saturday) to test and try to be relaxed about it all.

Good or bad, at least I'll know for certain soon enough!

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