The next couple posts will be from a website that has been very encouraging to me. If you are currently struggling with infertility, I pray that these words uplift your heart as well.
Source: http://dancinguponbarrenland.com/2010/08/hope/
Having a Heart of HOPE – Behind the Wall of Anger
Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Going through infertility we tend to have a hope sick heart. When dealing with a hope sick heart we go through different psychological emotions/actions. Some common Psychological Emotions/Actions are: Surprise, Denial, Shock, Guilt, Isolation, Anger, Disorganization, and Grief. As we wait for the desires of our heart, God IS AT WORK IN US, GETTING THROUGH TO THE CORE OF US, so we can HAVE A HEART OF PROMISE, BELIEVING IN HIS WORD AND EXPECTATION.
What is the heart? Seat of intentions, thoughts and emotions, our innermost self. Our heart is our dearest treasure.
GOD IS THE ONLY ONE:
“Arise cry aloud in the night, as the beginning of the night watches; Pour out your heart like water, before the presence of the Lord.” Lamentations 2:19 NAS
GOD KNOWS THE HEART:
“For God is greater than our hearts and knows everything.” 1 John 3:20
OUR HEARTS PRESENT CONDITION:
Definition of Anger: partially inflamed, incensed, enraged, infuriated, irate, provoked, and embittered.
Anger as a Christian can be scary for some and can be the most difficult to accept, yet it is a natural response. Some feel that it is not an appropriate response to pain. So some may feel guilty for even having any anger. Anger is a natural, necessary part of the journey through grief, whether the month after month of disappointment thru infertility, failed adoption attempts, or if you have lost a child. Anger is usually the secondary emotion blocking the real cause of pain.
Definition of Offense: the feeling of displeasure.
WHAT IS BEHIND the Wall of ANGER?
RESENTMENT – towards unplanned pregnancies, those who get abortions or your spouse who has not given you the necessary support that you need. Or you could be mad at women who have had complicated-free pregnancies and have given birth to healthy babies.
JEALOUSY/ENVY – towards friends or family members that become pregnant.
“A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.”
Proverbs 14:30 KJV
FRUSTRATION/HELPLESSNESS – couples may experience frustration and helplessness when they give their bodies/reproductive systems over to clinicians.
SILENCE – feeling as if God does not hear your hearts’ cry or care about your heart breaking. We often wonder what God is up to. There are no shortcuts through this ordeal. It is hard work to maintain faith in the midst of silence and suffering.
If we allow the above emotions to take root we can be become bitter.
BITTERNESS
If we allow the above emotions to take root we can be become bitter.
RACHAEL AND LEAH, Genesis 30:1-22 (Resentment, Anger)
Hannah and Penninah, 1 Samuel 1 (Jealousy, Rivalry)
BITTERNESS: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
Jesus and John the Baptist: Read, Luke 7:18-23 Amplified
“And blessed is He who is not offended because of me.” Matthew 11:6 KJV
“And blessed (happy–with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, apart from outward conditions–and to be envied) is he who takes no offense in Me and who is not hurt or resentful or annoyed or repelled or made to stumble whatever may occur].” Luke 7:23 Amplified.
ACTION ON OUR PART:
Pray and ask God to search your heart. Write a letter to God about your anger and what’s behind it.
“Rid yourself of all offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit.” Ezekiel 18:31
“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” Pr. 4:23
Guard our heart: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
HAVING A HEART OF HOPE
Having a Heart of Hope means having a heart of promise and expectation that comes from Him. It is important to focus on the future, yet also to glance at the past to see what Jesus Christ had done for us through His sacrifice on the Cross. Below are some prayers for you and scripture for memorization or meditation.
ANGER
“Heavenly Father, I feel so angry and frustrated about my fertility challenges. I ask for Your divine love to flow through me, for Your love is patient and kind, and not easily angered. Help me to be slow in my speech and slow in anger when it comes to dealing with my family members, friends or doctor. Help me not to be angry with you God, for all I am going through and with all that I don’t understand. Most of all, keep me from sinning against You or any one else in my anger. Thank you, Father for the release from anger within my heart.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Proverbs 15:18 NAS, I Corinthians 13:4-7, Ephesians 4:26, James 1:19-20
JEALOUSY/ENVY
“Heavenly Father, your Word tells me how to love and being envious and jealous is not part of your divine love. Father, I am struggling with envy and jealousy as I see pregnant women and hear of a new baby in someone’s life. Help me not to deny Your goodness and Your perfect plan for another as you bless them with children. Teach me not to compare my life with others, to take every negative, envious and jealous thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I ask for Your help to rejoice in the truth with others as I hear of a pregnancy or birth. Thank you for teaching me Your way to love.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
I Corinthians 13:4-7, II Corinthians 10:5, 12
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