Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Great Unknown

This morning I was driving to work, and in my area there was very dense fog preventing me from seeing past a half-mile.

A thought came to mind about how I had no idea what lay ahead of me on that road. I just had to continue driving and hope that there wouldn't all of a sudden be a large object in my path. All I had to rely on was the familiarity of the route itself and my short-distance vision.

My future feels a lot like that right now - unclear, a little nerve-wracking, moving forward with uncertainty...hoping for several things: my path will become clear, I'll understand why I had to go through this infertility journey, and of course that a child will be waiting for me at the end of this road. It's scary right now because I have no guarantees that my journey will end with a naturally-born child. I could be okay with that, but it's more of the uncertainty of it all that makes me nervous. I'm just so anxious to see where this road leads. (And yes, I was one of those kids who pestered Mom and Dad with "ARE WE THERE, YET?!")

I have no clue as to how long this road is, if I will take any detours or not, where the heck it goes, and what stops are along the way.

But one thing is for sure: I'm not the one driving. And that brings me so much comfort and peace. There is One who knows exactly where this road leads and ends. There is One who is carrying me through each day of this journey. He is One who I trust with my future, uncertainty and all. Heck, He's the ONLY one I trust with my future!

Last night at Bible study (we're studying the Miracles of Christ in the book of Mark), we read about how Jesus healed a leper. The leper first approached Jesus and said, "If You are willing, You can make me clean." He didn't say, "If you can do it, please heal me." The leper KNEW Jesus was more than capable to heal him, and knew that Jesus would only heal him if He willed to. I just love that. Lord, if You are willing, You can conceive a child in my womb. I hope that will be my future. And more of this:

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1 comment:

  1. Hi,
    As I was looking at my stats on my website, Dancing Upon Barren Land, I saw your blog. I just want to say 'thank you' for linking my site/blog on yours. It is much appreciated. I just read this, I see, like me, you're on the journey. I will be praying for you. Hang in there, God's got it and He is faithful to the end.