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When you
face a crisis in your life such as infertility, you must come face to
face with your true belief about God. Is He who He says He is? Can
He--will He--do what He says He will do? In times of crisis, we must
grapple with the fact that we are called on to trust the God who
sometimes says “No”.
When
infertility enters your life, a lot of things can happen. Some people
turn to doctors. Others decide to trust God to allow conception to
happen naturally. Some people tell everyone they know so they can
garner support, and some choose to keep their situation very private.
Emotions go haywire and decisions must be made, but one thing is usually
constant when infertility invades the home of a Christian couple: we
pray.
We ask
God to reverse the barrenness we carry. We cry out for healing of
endometriosis or polycystic ovaries. We promise Him that we will be
good mothers, that we will not only take these much-desired children to Sunday
School, but we’ll teach the class as well. We beg and plead with Him
to end our struggle with infertility and give us the baby that only He
can provide.
But sometimes--at least for a time--God says “No”.
What does
it mean when God says “no”? It feels like He has abandoned us or that
He is somehow unaware of how badly we want a baby. Maybe He thinks I
wouldn’t be a good mother, so He withholds from me the blessing of my
womb. It would be so much easier if God was unable to give me a baby!
Then I could imagine Him saying “Oh child! I wish I could grant this
desire. I want to place life in your womb so badly, but I just can’t. I
would if I could, but I cannot.” Then it would feel like He was a
partner in this struggle with me, rather than a holy being that I must
convince of my desire and commitment to being a good mother. How do I
serve this God who says “no”?
If your
heart is hurting today, and you are struggling with how God must feel
toward you and your infertility, let’s turn together to the Word, and
examine another who heard God say “no”. Perhaps you’ll understand a
little better how He loves you. Mark 14:35-36 says this:
And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground and began to pray that if possible, the hour might pass Him by.
And He was saying, “Abba! Father! Everything is possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.
This
emotional passage of Scripture lets us in on the intimate exchange
between God the Father and Jesus the Son, in the hours leading up to the
excruciating execution of Jesus. He is praying in the Garden of
Gethsemane and you can hear His anguish dripping from every word. He
cries out to His “Abba Father”--the literal translation is like us
crying to our “Daddy”. Can’t you hear Him?
“Daddy,
please! Please, Daddy! Please let this cup--let Calvary pass from
me! If it’s possible, Daddy, please! It’s going to hurt! The weight
of sin will be crushing! Oh Daddy, please, if it’s possible, make
another way!”
Didn’t Jesus know whether or not it was possible, or whether or not God could make another way? Of course He did. Read on...
Everything is possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will but what You will.
God the
Father, heard the anguished cries of His only begotten Son, begging Him
to let the cup of Calvary pass from Him and God said “no”.
Why did
God say “no”? He had a greater plan. If He had allowed Jesus to
by-pass Calvary, infertility would be the least of your worries. Your
eternity would be a terrifying reality. God, in His infinite wisdom and
mercy, told Jesus “no”.
Did God
love Jesus that day? Absolutely. Did His heart break to tell His
hurting Child “no”? Without a doubt. He does the same for you.
You’ve
begged God to let this be the month you conceive. God says “no”.
You’ve asked Him to let you avoid medical treatment, but you pick up the
phone to make the appointment because God said “no”. Others have
babies so easily, yet your family is formed through tears and years.
Hard to understand? Unquestionable. But God has a greater plan. Will
He always say “no”? Of course not. He has marvelous works in store for
you. He just knows that for a time, He must say “no” to allow the
greater plan to unfold, and He weeps with you as your tears fall.
Trust the
God who sometimes says “no”. His plan for you is unimaginable. His
mercy for you is inexhaustible. And just as He loved His only begotten
Son, He loves you enough to sometimes say “no”.
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