There's Just Something About Seeing Two Lines on a Pee Stick

This is NOT a pregnancy test. It's an ovulation predictor test that measures the amount of luteinizing hormone (LH) in my urine.

Unlike a pregnancy test, where a positive result means that you see even a faint second line, an LH test is only positive if the second line is the same or darker than the control line.

When you're struggling with infertility, it's nearly impossible to not become obsessed with seeing two lines on a pee stick. You've been waiting and waiting, and in my case, have never seen two lines...always one. It can be crushing, just like starting your period. The only benefit to taking a pregnancy test is that you can plan the exact moment you'll find out the news of Yes/No, giving you a chance to prepare your heart properly to receive the news. I like to pray and listen to encouraging music right before testing.

There's such a longing to see two lines. To see that your body works "properly". To see that God has chosen to open your womb. To be free of this particular pain and begin the next chapter of your life. The next chapter won't be free of its own hurdles and pain, but there's a longing for something different. To move on. To not feel stuck and left behind any longer. Longing for a change.

So as silly as it may seem to some people not struggling with infertility, my seeing this positive LH test uplifts my spirits. My body produces something that's positive! And it makes me thankful that at least I'm ovulating regularly, something that other infertile women may not be experiencing. With so many opportunities to get discouraged, it's a breath of fresh air to receive positive results on whatever the test may be.