Hope Does Not Disappoint: Sorry for the commerical break

Monday, February 11, 2013

Sorry for the commerical break

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted anything. I've been compiling responses to the upcoming series I want to post about, which will hopefully be ready in the next month or so.

In the meantime, I'll share a couple updates...

We got our blood work back that showed the pre- and post-diet levels. We were astonished at how much Michael's cholesterol dropped! If you want to read about our other before/after results, we blogged about it here.
Because the information about diet and nutrition is so vast, and because so many people have asked about it, we decided to create an entirely separate blog specifically about our journey to health. If you're interested in following that blog too, the link is: http://tofuandmanna.blogspot.com/
I realized about a month ago how much these health improvements have helped my outlook on our fertility and my life in general. It makes sense, right? That the physical, mental, and spiritual are all intertwined. Looking back to my state of mind over the summer, I see how much I was struggling with depression. I wasn't actively aware of it at the time, but boy was it deep. But since we've changed our diet and exercise habits, my outlook on life is dramatically improved. I no longer feel weighed down by thoughts of hopelessness. I'm so thankful for God leading us towards this decision!
I ran a mile without taking a break to walk for the first time in my whole life! For you regular runners out there, I realize this is no big deal, but for me, it's a really big deal. I used to hate running. H.A.T.E. I.T.! I would attempt to run and quickly feel so winded that I would have to stop to walk. But a couple weeks ago, it was a beautiful Friday afternoon when we got home from work, and we decided to go for a jog. I didn't quite make it to a consecutive 1-mile distance without walking, but we ended up going a total distance of 3.5 miles, where most of it was running! Then we went a few days later, and I beat my previous record - we ran for 1-mile, walked briefly, then ran another mile! This former run-hater was so proud of herself. Now, don't expect me to be running any marathons any time soon, but I was happy to get rid of my hatred for it. :)
Dr. H. is super sweet. She emailed me to check up on me because she hasn't heard from me in a while. I just love how caring she is and how she strives to invest in her patient's lives.

That's pretty much it. Thank you all for your continued prayers. We really appreciate it!

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Our Story

So far our journey is not over, but the lessons learned will last a lifetime. Michael and I have been married since 2007. In early December 2010, we decided to begin trying to start a family. I'm a planner, and had high expectations that we would get pregnant right away, just in time to announce it to our families on Christmas morning. But to my surprise, we did not get pregnant.

After finding no medical explanation for our inability to conceive (unexplained infertility), we began eating a whole foods, plant-based diet and exercising regularly. This helped regulate my hormones greatly and improved many aspects of our overall health (lost 30 lbs and kept it off, yay!) This has been our lifestyle since late 2012, yet we still have not been able to conceive. Clearly there is a bigger reason for this.

In late 2013, we felt God moving us to adopt. This was remarkable considering that, in the past, we never once considered adopting a child. But over the years of struggling with infertility, God taught us that no child - whether it comes from our physical bodies or elsewhere - is truly ours, but will always belong to God. We wanted to be parents, and we decided there was no reason to wait.

We desire to have children through adoption AND pregnancy. However the Lord wishes to grow our family, that's what we want too. We are completely trusting God with these details. How and when He brings children into our family is completely up to Him.

In March 2014 we submitted our application to the agency we chose. We didn't know it at the time (but God did), but that was also the month that our daughter was conceived. After being officially approved and put on the waiting list in August 2014, we were told the average wait would be 15 months. But God had other plans. Only 3 months later we received THE call from our caseworker that a birth mother had chosen us to adopt her baby, and the baby girl was due in a month.

We were overjoyed at this news and felt instant love for the birth family. I mean, out of all the couples waiting to adopt, they picked US! It felt humbling and amazing and overwhelming with only a month to prepare. We got to meet both sides of the birth family and we get along very well. They invited us to be at the hospital for our daughter's birth and wanted us to hold her shortly after being born. They chose to let us share in so many precious moments that they didn't have to do. They are such welcoming people, and we love them all so much!

After our daughter was two days old, we brought her home and started life together as a family of three. Though there were many things about parenthood that went differently than planned, or were frustrating in some moments, it has truly been such an honor to be our daughter's parents. She brings so much joy into our hearts with her sweet smile, laugh, and unique personality. I can't imagine her not being part of our family. We continue to keep in touch with the birth family on a regular basis. After all, we're all family now!

Through this journey, I have experienced such growth in my faith. Our story is proof that God gives good gifts and He truly cares for the desires of our hearts. He may not give you every desire in the way you ask for it, but He is faithful "and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

I have learned that I need to surrender to the Lord and let Him lead this endeavor. So that is my goal: “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus” – Hebrews 12:1-2.

Prayer of My Heart

"Heavenly Father, it seems as if every month brings about disappointment because I pray for a child and nothing happens. I don’t understand why I have to suffer like this. But in your Word, You say that I am to rejoice in my sufferings, because it gives me perseverance for the journey ahead, and perseverance brings about better character in me, and character; hope. I praise you for your great love, which has been shed in my heart by your Holy Spirit, which gives me hope that does not disappoint, as I continue to believe in You. Thank you! In Jesus’ name, amen."

[From Dancing Upon Barren Land]